


Denial

by Angelwithwingsoffire



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Derek in Denial, M/M, deep deep deep denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3671064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Derek denied his feelings and the one time he actually admitted to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

**Author's Note:**

> This is a happy fluffy thing for Luna because she read everything I have ever written and commented on it all and I love her very much for that.
> 
> Inspired by this post: [x](http://perfectalphadouchebag.tumblr.com/post/115270860104/it-takes-the-entire-pack-to-get-derek-im-in)

“So when are you going to ask Stiles out?”

Derek tripped over a root and fell face-first onto the forest floor. “Wh-wha-what?” He spluttered, wiping the wet leaves off his face as he rolled over to look up at a laughing Scott.

“Bro, come on.” Scott said, holding out a hand to pull him up.

Derek accepted it with a scowl. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about the fact that you’re in love with my best friend and everyone knows it except for him because he’s too self-depreciating to see how fucking awesome he is and thinks you can’t love him because he doesn’t deserve it.” Scott told him as they started walking again.

“That’s not true.” Derek frowned, immediately wondering how he could make Stiles stop thinking like that.

Scott raised an eyebrow. “Derek.”

Derek glared at him. “That means nothing. I merely understand that he’s a valuable part of this pack because he’s the best at research.”

“And you think he’s the absolute best at everything else as well.” Scott added. “Including being hot as fuck.”

Derek nearly tripped again but caught himself to spin and glare at Scott. “Stop saying that. I don’t-” his voice cut off with a crack. “I don’t care about him in that way. Or anyone for that matter.”

“Mmmhmmm.” Scott said, his skepticism coming through loud and clear. “Say what you will, Derek. We all know the truth.”

Derek just growled at him.

Scott held his hands up in surrender.

Nothing more was said on the subject but the ball had been set rolling and it was downhill from there.

A week passed and Derek almost forgot about the topic of his ‘feeling’s for Stiles. Until it was brought up again by a…less than desirable persona.

“So nephew, what are you doing about that little human of yours?”

Derek groaned as he heard his uncle push the loft door open. “Why do I even bother locking the door?”

“Because you like to think you’re in control.” Peter smiled, coming in and walking over to stand near Derek, who was lying on the couch.

Derek rolled over to look up at him. “What the hell do you want, Peter?”

“I want to know when the wedding’s going to be.” Peter grinned. “I’d hate to miss it afterall.”

“What wedding?” Derek demanded. “What the hell are you on about?”

“Well your wedding to that human of course!” Peter spoke as if it was fact and he was ecstatic about it. “I’m sure it has to be soon with the strength of the feelings you have for him.”

“I do not have feelings for Stiles.” Derek said firmly.

“So no wedding?” Peter smirked. “Too bad. I was looking forward to that boy becoming a part of our family.” Peter grinned, showing his fangs and his new red eyes that Derek really didn’t want to know where he got. “There are other ways to make him family though.”

Derek shot to his feet, grabbing his uncle by the neck and slamming him into the wall, eyes own eyes flashing and his fangs extending. “Do. Not. Touch. Him.”

Peter grinned. “So you do care about him?”

Derek snarled, pushing away and letting his shift drop. “I don’t.”

“You do.” Peter told him. “Otherwise you wouldn’t care if I gave him the bite.”

“I don’t want you giving anyone the bite.” Derek spat. “You shouldn’t be an alpha.”

Peter shrugged. “And you shouldn’t be denying your feelings.”

“I don’t have any feelings to deny.”

“Whatever you say, Nephew.” Peter drawled, heading for the door. “But a piece of advice? That bitch is dead. I made sure of it. Stop letting her control your life.”

Derek didn’t respond, just watched his uncle leave and then threw himself back down onto the couch with a groan. He was starting to hate his family.

*

“Thanks for picking me up bro.” Cora grinned as she slid into the car. “I know it’s a bit of a drive.”

“It’s only an hour.” Derek brushed her off. “Besides, you’re my sister. It’s the least I could do in return for you agreeing to come back for the anniversary.”

Cora smiled, reaching out to lay her hand on top of Derek’s on the gear shift. “It’s the five year mark. They deserve it.”

Derek smiled sadly, turning his hand over to squeeze his sister’s back. “Still, thanks for coming.”

Cora nodded. “Besides, it’s time I get to threaten Stiles as his boyfriend’s sister instead of just a werewolf.”

Derek spluttered. “What?”

“What?” Cora asked. “Peter said you’re in love with him and honestly it doesn’t surprise me. The last time I saw you two, you couldn’t stop staring at him like the sun was shining out his ass.”

“I don’t care about Stiles like that.” Derek told her. “And I definitely don’t stare at him like the sun shines out his ass.”

“Your heartbeat skipped.” Cora observed.

“You gave me a pretty big surprise.” Derek reminded her.

Cora shrugged. “You love him bro. Just admit it.”

“I don’t.” Derek said firmly.

“So I can’t threaten him?”

“Definitely not.”

“Damn.” Cora sighed. “Guess I’ll just have to come back again and do it then.”

Derek glared at her.

Cora just grinned and put her feet up on the dash. “Hey is Isaac still single?”

“I sweat I’m going to kill you.” Derek groaned.

Cora grinned. “Kidding. He’s only got eyes for that Scott kid. Allison on the other hand. Well, I could definitely see the appeal there.”

Derek decided he _definitely_ hates his family now.

*

When Derek got back from driving Cora to the airport, all he wanted to do was fall into bed and pass out for sixteen hours. He loved his sister to death, but it was good thing she only stayed a week because any longer and he would definitely have killed her. His family was a bunch of assholes, he loved them, but one of these days he really was going to kill one of them. In Peter’s case he was going to kill him _again_ because Peter was really getting annoying. Unfortunately for Derek, his betas had a different idea in mind.

When Derek walked into his loft, it was to find his betas standing in front of him with nervous yet determined faces on.

“I’m going to hate all of you, aren’t I?”

“You need to confess your feelings.” Erica told him.

“I don’t have feelings.” Derek dead-panned. “I am an emotionless robot. Please let me go to sleep.”

“Tired is an emotion dumbass.” Isaac pointed out.

Derek glared at him.

“So is anger.” Boyd smirked.

Derek moved his glare to him and then to Erica, the unspoken leader amongst his first three betas. “What are you three doing here?”

“Like I said, you need to confess your feelings.” Erica told him. “And we’re here to make you do so.”

“What are you talking about?” Derek asked, having a horrible feeling that he knew what this was but he didn’t want to deal with it.

“Your love for Stiles.” Isaac told him. “It’s really obvious and we’d like you to stop silently pining and admit it so we can get you together.”

“I am not in love with Stiles.” Derek said, keeping his heartbeat steady. “Please leave now.”

“Never.” Erica told him. “We’ll stay here all night if we have to.”

“I don’t care.” Derek told them. “I’m going to sleep. You can stay if you’d like, but there’s nothing for me to admit so you can leave whenever it is you realize that.” With that, Derek went passed them and threw himself onto the guest bed, too tired to even climb the stairs up to his own bed.

The betas looked at each other.

“We need the cavalry.” Erica decided. The other two nodded.

If Derek wasn’t so tired, he’d groan because he had a feeling he knew who that was and he was very much regretting it.

*

Derek was right.

When Derek got back from a junk food lunch run he found none other than Lydia Martin standing in his loft.

“Are you here to tell me about my non-existent feelings for Stiles?” Derek asked, going over to the couch and sitting down to start pulling out his lunch.

“They aren’t non-existent and you know it.” Lydia said firmly, her heels clipping on the floor as she walked over to sit on the couch next to him.

“I don’t have feelings for Stiles.” Derek told her, taking a bit of his burger.

“Yes, you do and everyone but the two of you seems to know it.”

“Lydia.” Derek sighed. “Why does everyone think I have feelings for Stiles?”

Lydia sighed. “The way you look at him for one.”

“And how’s that?”

“Like he’s the only person in the room.” Lydia told him. “Like he hung the moon and placed the stars. Like he’s the best person you’ve ever met and you can’t believe that you have the amazing privilege of getting to know him and love him.”

Derek stared at her. “I don’t do any of that.”

Lydia shrugged. “You might not notice it, but you do.”

“What else?” Derek demanded.

“You give him special treatment.”

“Like what?”

“At pack meetings you grab him drinks from the fridge without asking because you noticed his was empty but you don’t grab on for anyone else despite others being out as well.”

“I only have two hands.” Derek defended.

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “You stop everyone from talking when he has something to say.”

“Because he’s the smartest among us all and what he has to say tends to be important.”

“And in battle, he’s the one you protect other anyone else.”

“Again because it’s logical. He’s a human with only a cursory understanding of the magic powers he’s only just coming into and he’s our smartest pack member. We’d be dead in the water without him.”

“And that’s the last thing.” Lydia smiled

“What?”

“The smile you get on your face when you talk about him.” Lydia smiled knowingly. “Scott and Isaac have the same look when they talk about each other. Same for Erica and Boyd. I know you have feelings for him Derek. We all know. Now you just need to tell him about your feelings so that both of you can stop moping around and just get your feelings out in the open.”

“I don’t have feelings.” Derek whispered.

Lydia sighed and stood up, putting a hand on Derek’s shoulder and squeezing slightly. “Derek Hale, you are an idiot if you think you’re not in love with that boy and that he doesn’t love you right back.”

With that simple declaration, Lydia turned and marched out of the loft, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts and the information she just gave him.

Five minutes later Derek dropped his burger onto the wrapper still laid out on the coffee table, his jaw dropped in shock.

“Holy shit.” He whispered to himself. “Holy fucking shit.”

*

Stiles burst into the loft in panic. “Derek!” He called. “Are you alright?!”

“There’s no need to shout.” Derek told him, coming out of the kitchen with a hand on his head.

“Are you okay?” Stiles demanded, hurrying over to him. “I got your message.”

“What?” Derek asked. “I didn’t text you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No. I didn’t.”

Stiles fumbled with his pocket and pulled out his phone, poking it for a moment before showing the screen to Derek. There, on the screen, was a message sent from Derek’s phone ten minutes ago that read ‘You need to get here now. I need you.’

“I didn’t send that.” Derek told him. “I’d never send that. To anyone.”

“Then who the hell did?!” Stiles demanded. “I broke every traffic law in the book because I thought you were hurt! Or delusional!”

“Glad to know you think highly of my mental health.” Derek told him, rubbing his head again as he went over to the couch and sat down with a definite ‘plop’ in his stance.

“Derek? Are you okay?” Stiles asked, following him over.

“I’m fine.” Derek told him, waving his coffee mug through the air.

“Really?” Stiles asked. “Because you don’t look fine. Or smell fine for that matter, what the hell are you drinking?”

“Vodka.” Derek told him.

“Why are you drinking vodka on a Tuesday night?”

“Because it’s a good companion.”

Stiles sat down next to him and reach for the mug. Derek stretched his arm away from Stiles.

“My vodka.” He pouted. “Get your own.”

“Derek, give me the mug.” Stiles ordered.

“No.” Derek told him. “Mine.”

Stiles sighed. “Derek. Now.”

Derek just scowled at him.

Stiles huffed, annoyed, and lunged for the mug.

“No!” Derek exclaimed, scrambling up and moving away from him. “My vodka!”

“Derek what the hell is wrong with you?!” Stiles demanded.

“Why does there have to be something wrong?!” Derek shouted back. “Why can’t I just be a perfectly normal person who happens to like vodka?!”

“How the hell are you even drunk on this shit?!”

“Wolfsbane.” Derek grinned. “It’s helpful sometimes. If you have the right strain.”

Stiles sighed, dropping back onto the couch and looked at him. “Derek. Are you going to tell me why you’re drinking wolfsbane infused vodka on a Tuesday night? And why you apparently started drinking very early if you’re already this plastered at five  in the evening?”

Derek scowled at him, swaying on his feet. He went to take a drink but found that his mug was empty, having spilled quite a bit trying to get away from Stiles. “I need to refill my mug.” Without waiting for a response he turned and headed back to the kitchen.

Stiles sighed again and got up, following Derek into the kitchen to make sure he was okay. “Derek?” He asked gently, watching Derek pull out an almost bottle of vodka and pour some into his mug before pouring coffee in after it. That cannot taste good.

“What?” Derek asked, pouting at the liquid before him like it wasn’t what he wanted but it was what he had so he was going to drink it, tastebuds be damned.

“What’s wrong?”

Derek sighed. “I fucked everything up.”

“Why do you think that?” Stiles asked. He knew from experience that being told it wasn’t his fault didn’t help at all unless you could believe the person saying it, which you couldn’t unless they knew why you were saying it.

“Because everyone saw it before I even knew about it and now I’ve made everyone upset because I didn’t see it and I fucked the whole pack up.”

Stiles stepped forward at the sound of tears in Derek’s, moving until he could wrap his arms around the wolf’s shoulders. “What did you do that you think is so bad?”

“I fell in love.” Derek whispered. “I fell in love after I swore I wouldn’t and now everything’s going to go to shit because that’s what happens when I fall in love. People die. People always die.”

Stiles held back the automatic ‘shh’ing sound everyone always made, knowing that it wouldn’t help. Instead he just guided Derek to the floor, took away the mug and put it far away from Derek’s reach, and then pulled the wolf against him. “I’m sure we’re going to be okay.”

“How do you know?”

“Because all the people you’ve loved, never loved you back. That’s why people died.”

“How do you know this time is any different?” Derek demanded. “Who in their right mind would love me back?”

“Because they’d have to be out of their right mind _not_ to.” Stiles told him. “You’re a great guy. You care about the pack, you take care of Erica and Boyd and Isaac and give them the family they always wanted and you give them what they need to feel happy in this world, you give Scott the mentor and older brother he always wanted and you ground Lydia to the world of the living by giving her a purpose for her powers. You take care of this pack.”

“And you?” Derek whispered.

“What?”

“You said I help everyone else, but not you?”

Stiles sighed. “You help me most of all.”

“How?”

“You really want to know?” Stiles asked. He didn’t want to tell Derek. He knew there was no way it was him Derek loved and telling him would only make this more awkward and possibly send Derek deeper into his guilt trip.

Derek nodded against Stiles’s shoulder, already eyeing the mug of vodka and coffee again. He knew Stiles wasn’t going to say what he wished he’d say and after this he was going to need to get plastered. Maybe he won’t even bother with the coffee anymore. It’s evening. He can get all-out drunk now. No one can judge him for that.

“You’re my anchor.” Stiles whispered, his voice catching a little but he pushed through. “You’re my anchor and you help me by being the amazing person you are and giving me something to hold onto when I do spells. You give me a reason to stay in _this_ world instead of crossing over to the other worlds I dip into for my spells.”

Derek froze and Stiles winced, bracing himself for rejection as Derek sat up and looked at him with wide, slightly glazed over eyes. “Really?” Derek asked softly.

Stiles nodded. “Really.”

Derek bowed his head for a moment and Stiles braced himself, however, he did not expect the next words to come out of Derek’s mouth.

“Lydia was right.” He whispered.

“What?” Stiles asked confused. He’d completely lost track of where this conversation was.

“Lydia was right.” Derek repeated, a little louder.

“I heard you the first time.” Stiles told him. “I meant what as in what the hell does that mean?”

“She said that I was an idiot.”

“She calls everyone idiots.” Stiles told him. “Still confused.”

“She said I was an idiot if I thought I wasn’t in love with you.” Derek told the floor. He looked up at Stiles. “And if I thought you didn’t love me back.”

Stiles’s eyes went wide. He was really confused now. Could wolfsbane liqueor get him drunk through inhalation? Because he has to be imagining this.

“Unless I was wrong.” Derek whispered, pulling away slowly and getting up. “Sorry.”

The hurt in Derek’s voice jump-started Stiles’s brain again and he lunged out to grab Derek and pull him back down. “Don’t even think about leaving.” Stiles told him before pulling Derek in for a very short kiss. “Sorry.” Stiles gasped when he pulled away. “I meant to do that a bit more romantically.”

Derek just grunted and pressed his own lips against Stiles’s. “It was perfect.” Derek whispered when he pulled back.

“Yeap.” Stiles agreed. “Perfect except for the taste of vodka-spiked coffee. Why were you drinking that?”

Derek blushed bright, his body running hotter than usual as it tried to burn the alcohol out of his system. “Seemed like a good idea.”

Stiles laughed. “Let’s get you some water and then we’ll go watch a movie or something until you burn that off. Then we’ll sit down and talk like civil people, okay?”

Derek nodded. “We owe the pack some gifts though. They tried five times to make me see that I liked you.”

“Just like me?”

Derek blushed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Stiles grinned. “And I bet ten bucks Lydia has your phone and sent that text.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Derek told him. “She was here at lunch today.”

“She was the one who succeeded?”

Derek nodded.

“Figures.” Stiles snorted. “Okay, off the floor. My back hurts enough as it is from that weird monster thing last week.”

Derek sighed but got up, helping Stiles to his feet as well. “So, movie?”

Stiles grinned. “Cuddle time!”

Derek rolled his eyes.

“Get used to it big guy.” Stiles told him. “Come winter, this will be a common thing with your built-in heater status and my lack of blubber.”

Derek sighed but nodded. “Anything for you.”

Stiles grinned. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Derek smiled, happy that he could actually say the words now. Yea, he owed Lydia big time.


End file.
